Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
