I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize