I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
