i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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