Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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