I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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