Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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