At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
