i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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