yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize