let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
