I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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