drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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