I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want her autograph on my taint
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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