I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?