so that wasnt chicken after all
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.