I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.