By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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