And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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