Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
