Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
