In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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