Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
