Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
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I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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