Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
