talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
