I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I supernannyed him into submission
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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