What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
