Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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