Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
