Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
