Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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