dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this will be a night to untag.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
