honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
