Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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