You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're so nebulous sometimes
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
