Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
