garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
