What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
