Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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