I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
