do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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