is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize