Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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