I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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