Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
