i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it was like eating out sand paper
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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