Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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