I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I need a burrito and a hug.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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