I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
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Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.