I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.