Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor