This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
