Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
