R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
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No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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