He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
