And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
