Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize