i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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